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If you would have told me just 2 weeks after losing my daddy, in the thick of greiving, that I would find out I'm pregnant. I would have laughed. 
I am a control freak. 
We planned and tried for a year each to get pregnant with the boys. So to be pregnant with them wasn't a surprise. 
But this little nugget. Surprise. 
To make this little nugget an even sweeter surprise- we are due on August 13th. Daddy's birthday. 
It does not seem real that he is not here for this. 
It does not seem real that I will be bringing a sweet little baby into a world where my daddys not. A new human that will not know him or the love of a proud pawpaw. 
We are very blessed and excited about this new little addition but trying to navigate joy and grief simultaneously is a hard, hard thing to do. I know that this little nugget is a huge blessing, one that God and my daddy probably knew my heart would need after losing him. I can't wait to meet the little angel baby daddy picked out for us. But I can't help but cry when i think about him not being here to experience it on this side with me. 

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